I haven’t written a letter for you for so long… I don’t know, something in me wanted to stop telling what I feel. I have been feeling detached to the world lately, that goes without saying that I think I am losing you, too.
Been hearing bad news for me today, you were with a girl and I was again kept hanging by your promises which rip me apart.
I mean, I am not looking forward for you to treat us… I just want to spend more time with you, I always want to reassure myself with the friendship I think we have
Sooner or later, seeing you wouldn’t be a routine anymore, I won’t see you on a weekly basis, you wouldn’t have any reason to text or call me, you wouldn’t have any reason to think of me anymore.
I am very afraid that that day will come… the day when I wouldn’t be a part of your system anymore, the day when the thinnest thread I have been treasuring will be burnt and will turn into ashes… the day that I will lose you.
This letter is very different from the last one I sent to you. I want to break your heart as much as I am hurting. I know that that is such an unfair wish for you… but seriously, did you really needed appearing in my life?
I was a fine miserable fella even before I knew your existence, and endlessly thinking of you isn’t giving me the stability of feeling nothing… it was just a very small wish I needed for you to spare.
I can’t tell you that I want to hug you every time we meet, all I can do was to talk about the most useless things on earth. I wanted to be a tin can when I am with you, I don’t want you see that the greatest vulnerability I carry is of you and your being.
For the most unknown reason, I did not want you to see any misery I lock inside me. You are an amazing one and you deserve to be happy every minute of every day. I want you to have giggles in the corners of your mind because you are with happy people. You do not deserve even an inch of a creep that makes me. I do not want you to think that you deserve a freak to be in your life.
Although I am afraid that a day you forget about me is bound to happen, I cannot do anything about it. And if it happens, I want you to be all smiles.
For the longest time, I am loving the wrong person. A person who was made for another body… I am loving you in the most selfish way I am able of, for the longest time, I want you to feel how special and important you are as a person.
I will be always here to try so hard in lifting you up when you feel down, I will try so hard to give you every ounce of importance that you deserve, although sometimes I am a downfall. Like I am with all of my friends, I will always be around as long as you need me, even if I am the last one in the list.
From here, I promise to do this without any wish of reciprocation… and I am sorry that you have to meet a creep.
T1 - 風の谷のナウシカから / from Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind T2 - 天空の城ラピュタから / from Laputa: Castle in the Sky T3 & 4 - となりのトトロから / from My Neighbor Totoro T5 - 火垂るの墓から / from Grave of the Fireflies T6 & 7 - 魔女の宅急便から / from Kiki’s Delivery Service T8 - おもひでぽろぽろから / from Only Yesterday T9 & 10 - 紅の豚から / from Porco Rosso T11 - 耳をすませばから / from Whisper of the Heart T12 - もののけ姫から / from Princess Mononoke T13 - 千と千尋の神隠しから / from Spirited Away T14 - 猫の恩返しから / from The Cat Returns T15 - ハウルの動く城から / from Howl’s Moving Castle T16 - ゲド戦記から / from Tales from Earthsea T17 - 崖の上のポニョから from Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea T18 - 借りぐらしのアリエッティから / from Arrietty T19 - コクリコ坂からから / from From Up on Poppy Hill
occupy yourself with peace for the next hour. you’re welcome.
“Tomorrow’s Music Station, ARASHI will be joining us for the 99th time. Look forward to the clips of their 98 performances! Their performance will be super super special!!! It’s a must-watch!”— MUSIC STATION @ twitter (via nieatriestine)